My thoughts on motherhood

With Jada has come alot of change to our lives, but all good changes. When we first found out we were pregnant I remember a couple in the ward who had a new baby telling us how wonderful it was being parents. They were so tired yet they didn't mind because they were so filled with love for their new baby girl. I feel the same way about Jada. She is so precious and also so helpless and dependent. Having the responsibility of her health and wellbeing on my shoulders is humbling, intimidating, and love enhancing all rolled into one. I love being a mother. Every moment we share together is so precious to me. I love her with a tenderness and only want the best for her.
A sacred experience that I will never forget was the first time that I looked into Jada's eyes and her into mine shortly after she was born. Behind her eyes was maturity beyond her few short moments on earth and recognition, she knew me, and was very pleased to be here. There was a moment of unspoken communication that passed between us. An hour later when I saw her again at NICU, that was gone, she had the look of a sweet, innocent and ignorant little newborn. I feel so priviledged to be her mother, I felt her spirit and she is full of so much peace and kindness. Other mothers have told me that they had the same experience and that it happened with everyone of their children. It is a very special experience that is deficult to put into words. One that I will always hold sacred in my heart.
She is such an easy baby and I have had a really quick recovery and so adjustments have come easy. I have really felt that my body and mind have been blessed to help me with the task. Normally it would be very taxing on my body to be on a twenty-four hour schedule that required me to be awake for an hour every 2-3 hours but somehow my body has adapted very quickly and easily. I was scared that for the middle of the night feedings I would not wake up but from day one my body has woke me up at regular intervals went it is time for Jada to feed and I look in Jada's basinette to find her awake with those happy eyes looking up at me and sucking on her fingers telling me she is hungry. Also Mike read online that a womans milk will adjust to meet the needs of her premature baby. I have also read that the most perfect nutrition for a growing baby comes from the baby's mothers milk and that there is no substitute, not even another womans milk. It is really miraculous if you think about. Every detail of how are bodies work is so perfectly set up.
I know that I have been blessed. Just in the fact alone that Jada is healthy and thriving. I want nothing more than for her to achieve her greatest potential. We gave her the Chinese Name yu xuan hoping that she will emulate the characteristics in that name. Yu wishes that she will speak beautiful, kind words always and Xuan wishes that she will easily forget her troubles and therefore live a happy life. Her english name Jada not only represents a aspect of chinese culture and the country of her birth, but it stands for virtue, purity, grace and beauty in many chinese idioms. We hope that her names will be a reminder to her when she comes across choices in life and help to shape her life and her attitude towards it. I know that more important than a name will be the environment we have in our home and the guidance and teachings that we provide for her. Her joy and success means so much to me. Now more than ever I feel the importance of my influence, my example. I am greatful to my parents for the examples they have been to me and the loving environment I grew up in. I have had a very blessed life because of my parents.