Thoughts on Being a father

So, Mikey is a father... Yea, I know. I'm scared too.

Even thought I was excited about the prospect of fatherhood from the time I found out Chelsey was pregnant, and I would always talk to the bean when she was in the womb, I was still scared, and nervous about it. However, now with Jada here the fears are a less. I still worry sometimes about things, such as if I am going to be a good father for when she is older, if I will figure life out sooner than later, and all the other questions that I have. Chelsey has been such a huge help with this, as she always has faith that I will be a great father, and that I will be able to figure things out, and that all things will work out fine.


Most guys are a little envious of their friends who are fathers. We want to see the kid be happy when they see us. So I am actually happy to be a father, even if it is a little strange. Even though Jada is not yet old enough to knowingly smile, I know that she is happy when I am there.

From the time that we took Chelsey to the hospital, and we found out that Jada was on her way, I was both scared and excited. This was not what we had planned at all, yet it was happening. I am so glad that we had people we could call - such as Jeff Hall, one of the councilors in the branch presidency. I don't know what I would have done with out having anyone to turn to! I was scared, because it was happening really fast. But excited, as I was going to be a father... But truth be told, I was not really excited until after she came.

It is a time that I will never forget. Even though I got light headed and needed to sit right after Jada came out, I remember hearing her cry, and the doctors say "shes OK". There was a huge wave of relief wash over me, and I was happy both mom and baby were good. After a few minutes, the doctors were done with Jada, and even though they would not let me hold her because she was premature, I got to sit beside her.

I put my hand on her back and just looked at her. She had a very tired, but happy look to her. She was very alert, and was looking around, and looking at me. When our eyes met, I knew that she knew me. She knew where she was, and was happy. I can't describe the feelings that I got when I looked at her, but it was really special. I was also quite amazed at how well she looked, and how pleased she seemed that she made it here.

So far, being a father has been fairly easy, even thought I don't get all the smiles that will come. I do my best to make sure Chelsey's and Jada's needs are met, which means that I need to work to make money. I also run (or continue to run) most of the errands, so Chelsey can get her rest. I enjoy having Jada around, and love spending what time I can with her. I love how she looks at me sometimes, and gets hints of a grin.

It is a special thing, being a father. Even though most of the time I have no idea what I am doing, I am glad to have this opportunity.